Breaking news from Sacramento tonight as the makers of HBO's "Hard Knocks" series have struck an agreement with Kings new owner, Vivek Ranadive to carry the groundbreaking new series "Boogie Clown" documenting the NBA's most unpredictable franchise during the upcoming season. See the list below for the top five episode summaries sure to entertain NBA fans during the 2015-16 season.
1. The Emotional Goodbye- Witness the emotional farewell of George Karl after he is fired after the Kings get off to an 0-1 start. Karl actually appears awake for the firing as Vivek cites the brutal win loss record as the reason for the abrupt dismissal. "We signed big time free agents and our expectations were clear. We didn't sign Rajon Rondo to be coached by someone who will finish his career with zero wins," said Vivek. Rondo was particularly upset at Karl's dismissal until Boogie explained to him that the departing coach was not just "Coach Cal after he got old and ragged lookin."
2. The Awkward Reunion- Emotions are running high when the Nuggets, coached by former Kings leader and now Nuggets head man Mike Malone visit Sacramento for the first time. The situation is even more riddled with tension since Vivek has recently appointed himself as the team's head coach. Boogie complicates the situation further by repeatedly walking into Nuggets team huddles to talk to Coach Malone. Vivek mistakenly believes that Cousins is only doing so because he can't see him so he orders Vlade Divac to let him ride on his shoulders for the second half. The episode ends on a high note as the Kings win on a last second Rondo underhanded free throw.
3. Vivek's Waterloo- Vivek's dream of revolutionizing the NBA comes to a screeching halt as his two revolutionary resolutions are voted down at the NBA Owners Meeting. His first resolution, introducing a second basketball to the game at all times is defeated unanimously. His second resolution, an attempt to institute a designated offensive player did garner modest support from the Heat and Lakers. The chance to let DWade and Bryant make max money and just play offense is owerwhelmingly supported by fans of the two teams. Wade causes a minor stir when he is caught on camera mouthing, "wait, I'm supposed to have been playing defense?" at the vote's announcement. The episode closes with an odd revealing of Vivek's Stauskas tramp stamp as he walks away dejected and broken.
4. Kings And Queens- Miffed by their all star snubs, Boogie and Rondo spend the All Star break together in Las Vegas. The trip goes well until Rajon assaults a poker dealer after the dealer suggested he do something other than pass. Boogie has an outstanding trip until he runs into old nemesis Isiah Thomas at a strip club. The two have words but ultimately reconcile after Brad Stevens and Omri Casspi surprisingly arrive at the Club together and help the two truly communicate for the first time. The episode closes with Omri driving Boogie and Rondo out of town on a trike just ahead what they believe to be an angry senior citizen biker gang (which is just a Shriners Parade in actuality).
5. Belinelli Ball- The entire team turns out for teammate Marco Belinelli's charity gala. Unfortunately, the guys don't understand that the event, entitled "3 for Gs" is a benefit for homosexual men in poverty and not, as Rondo originally believed to be "an event for gangstas that can't pimp it no mo." To no one's surprise, Vlade Divac has the best time of the event until he is awkwardly purchased by Vivek in the date auction. An awkward situation turns truly bizarre when Vivek gazes lovingly in Vlade's eyes and utters a heartfelt, "Stauskas" as the final credits roll.
I hope this whets your appetite for what will be the season's biggest new series, "Boogie Clown" airing concurrently on HBO, NBATV and the Oxygen Network. Keep your eyes on the balls!
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