They say that time heals all wounds and 99 times out of 100 that describes a perfectly healthy process. That 1 in 100 is where the danger lies though and I feel we, as Tottenham fans, are beginning to fall pray to the dangers of the one percent. I've heard too many Spurs fans begin to gloss over the horrors of the Tim Sherwood era as of late. Too many among us have started to say things like, "at least he brought along the youth" or "maybe he could have improved his tactics in time." I fear that soon my compatriots will start saying things like, 'maybe the gilet would like good on me" or "maybe the 4 4 2 will come back into style." As such, I am providing all Tottenham fans with a quick top 10 list to remind us all of how Tim Sherwood is...in fact...a disastrously sad clown.
1. Tim Sherwood actually believes that statistics accurately depict him as Tottenham's best manager in history: Let me remind you of the direct quote: "There has been no one at this Club who has done a better job at the Premier League. My record stands for itself." (Source: Guardian, April 25, 2014). If I ask you to think of the best Spurs managers in history how long before you get to considering Sherwood? If it's anywhere in single digits, shoot yourself or admit that you're 11 years old. His delusion makes him a muppet.
2. He made all of us salute Adebayor in front of our TV's..at least once: I have to shamefully admit that I got caught up in his run of goals and took joy from saluting with he and Sherwood on more than one occasion. Anyone who is capable of inspiring such a terrible thing cannot be remembered with anything other than large amounts of contempt. If you saluted, embrace the shame..not use it to feel your Sherwood hatred.
3. Sherwood can rightfully claim to have given Bentaleb his first opportunity: We all rightfully love Nabil Bentaleb as a "proper Spur." Unfortunately, we all must be reminded that Tim Sherwood gave him his first break into the first team. This slight detail sullies what is otherwise a perfect love affair. We could all love Nabil with even more devotion if AVB or even Harry Redknapp had given him his first taste of first team action. Instead, we must acknowledge that Sherwood is involved. He's like the herpes of our relationship with Bentaleb. He isn't typically visible, but does show up in outbreaks.
4. On December 22nd 2013, he admitted to the Mirror that he grew up an Arsenal fan: He told a major newspaper that he grew up a Woolwich fan when he was the manager of Tottenham. He should have been hung for this immediately. I'm disappointed Levy couldn't have managed this.
5. He stabbed beautiful Andre Villas-Boas in the Back: While this has never been proven per se, don't we all believe it? While we may not have cared for AVB's tactics we can't stand by while Tim Sherwood perpetrates a crime against such a beautiful man right???
6. He wore a gilet and thought it was cool: Some of you might have actually purchased a gilet. Maybe your girlfriend/wife saw it and got you one for Christmas. At any rate, this happened to you or some other Tottenham fan you know. How did we let this happen!?!?!?!? Never forget.....
7. He acts as if he invented 4 4 2: Conventional wisdom has shifted away from the 4 4 2 in favor of a more "refined 4 2 3 1 throughout Europe. Sherwood has the audacity to flaunt his 4 4 2 as some sort of fresh, counterculture formation. It's just old and simple Tim..sort of like you.
8. Tim Sherwood might actually buy Adebayor and/or Townsend: If either of these things happen then Sherwood's reputation instantly gets raised in my eyes. At the moment, all he has done is given our fan base hope in being free of both players. Hell, he has us believing someone will actually pay us money for them both. This could end up as a cruel tease.
9. His interviews: Whether or not you agreed with things that Sherwood said during his interviews you have to admit they were largely inappropriate. His interviews were deemed to be so awful by Spurs management that we made sure our next manager had an interpreter. I am a fan of Pochettino, but it's certainly not for his elaborate public speaking. Sherwood ruined the chances of us having a talkative manager for a long, long time.
10. He just won't go away: No matter how much we want to be rid of the clown he keeps popping up. He remains in the press and always has a comment about Tottenham. He's sort of like an employed Jamie Redknapp that way. Even once he's fired at Villa we can be sure he will pop up at some other annoying squad who will suddenly target Spurs at every opportunity (I'm looking at you West Ham). Tim is the ultimate bad penny, who will always turn up.
I sincerely hope this list has helped all of you refuel your Tim Sherwood hatred. I consider it my mission to make sure that no Tottenham fans minimizes his idiocy as time goes by!
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