We've all been shaken by the news that Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino has informed striker Emmanuel Adebayor that he has no future at the club. I couldn't disagree with Poch more. In fact, I think there are plenty of jobs that Adebayor could still perform to earn his keep at the club. Here are the top 10 jobs that he could fill to earn his wages:
- Ju Ju Identification Specialist- You never know when some random elements of Ju Ju could be lurking in a dark corner of White Hart Lane. Fortunately for us, Adebayor is an expect in the dark arts of the African continent and could really be valuable at helping us finding any miscellaneous Ju Ju. Unfortunately, he's shown no capability to combat the Ju Ju so we would have to hire someone separately for that.
- Barber- This is clearly a skill of his as evidenced by the myriad of hair styles he's utilized throughout his time at Tottenham. Whether you want braids, an afro or a close shave Ade could take care of it for you.
- Accountant- Anyone who makes that much money and has that type of time on their hands surely spends a great deal of time counting it right?
- Security Guard- I believe the old saying says that if you want to catch a thief, then you should hire one. Do you know anyone who's stolen more money from Tottenham? If this adage is true, he could save the club millions.
- Heart Surgeon- Adebayor has somehow managed to not only survive, but also play Premier League football with no heart for several years now. Opening a clinic where he could teach others to do so would save millions of lives annually.
- Military Officer-Because you know, he likes to salute.
- Immigration Officer- As many times as he has failed to return to Tottenham on time from international duty I can only assume he's an expert on immigration and travel.
- Dress Maker- This might shock a few of you, but true Tottenham fans know that Adebayor frequently wears a dress as part of his native garb. He could bring these same stylings to White Hart Lane to help fans stay cool during the warmest of days.
- Daniel Levy's Replacement for Early Transfer Dealings- We all know that Daniel Levy waits until the last minute to start his transfer negotiations so we could just use Adebayor as a stand in for the first half of the window. Nothings's getting done anyway and that is his specialty.
- Plumber- This is perhaps the perfect job for Emmanuel Adebayor. He is simply phenomenal when it comes to being full of shit for long periods of time and coming out smelling like a rose.
Hope you've enjoyed this list, please share and comment!
No comments:
Post a Comment